The Shmooze

Joan Rivers Has Advice for Israel: Nose Jobs

By Anne Cohen

Getty Images

Joan Rivers is trading in her “Fashion Police” badge for some international relations credentials.

The comedian, who just last week was seen passionately defending Israel to a TMZ reporter, is at it again. In an interview with Israel’s Channel 10 on Wednesday, Rivers had some words of advice for Israel’s PR team.

“We are doing something very wrong in Israel and we are not doing public relations work,” Rivers told Channel 10’s U.S. correspondent Gil Tamari. “Hamas is so smart, they are using old pictures of dead children every time we hit a spot that happens to be – yes, a school, but underneath it there are weapons and they say ‘school!’ and it’s killing me because the wrong people, the dumb people are buying into it.”

Asked for advice on how deal with celebrities like Selena Gomez and Rihanna, Rivers said: “I think Israel should start showing dead puppies. And you’ll see these girls turn right around and go, ‘aww, boo hoo.’”

Lovely, Joan. Just lovely.

But wait, there’s more.

The segment ended with Tamari asking Rivers to play “Got To Have It or Make It Stop,” a game made popular on “Fashion Police.”

This particular gem came out of round 1:

“Well I think we should make it stop and I think I know how to make it stop. I think every Palestinian should get a nose job,” she said. “Because once somebody has had a nose job they won’t fight ‘cause they’re scared their new nose would get broken. I think we should send over every great Jewish plastic surgeon doctor, fix their noses, and there will be peace in the Middle East.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Joan Rivers.

Watch the whole segment below (if you dare).

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Joan Rivers Goes All Jersey on Anti-Israel Crowd

By Gabe Friedman

Joan Rivers has come out in support of Israel in a big way.

When asked by a TMZ reporter about the violence in Gaza and Israel, Rivers compared the situation to New York and its much-maligned neighboring state.

“If New Jersey were firing rockets into New York, we would wipe ‘em out,” she said, waving her hands. “If we heard that they were digging tunnels from New Jersey to New York, we would get rid of Jersey.”

Even if Rivers apparently missed the memo about the PATH trains that connect New York to New Jersey underground, she got her point across.

“You cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves,” she continued.

The reporter countered by asking her about the Palestinian civilian casualty rate.

“They started it!” she yelled repeatedly.

The interviewer then mentioned that celebrities Dwight Howard and Selena Gomez had defended Palestine on Twitter.

“Oh, Selena Gomez, that college grad,” Rivers responded. “Let’s see if she can spell ‘Palestinian.’”

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Joan Rivers Storms Out of CNN Interview

By Rachel X. Landes

Apparently all that plastic surgery didn’t give Joan Rivers a thick skin.

On July 5, Joan Rivers made headlines after she stormed out of a CNN interview claiming the anchor, Fredricka Whitfield, was asking increasingly “negative questions.”

Rivers, known for her (sometimes) off-color jokes has picked on everyone from Paula Deen to the Jennifer Lawrence. She has even run afoul of the Anti Defamation League once or twice.

On CNN to promote her newest book, “Diary of a Mad Diva,” Joan came under fire for calling President Obama gay, She went on in the same interview to use an offensive slur for a transgendered person when asked about the first lady.

Whitfield began the interview with a summary of Joan’s current career on “Fashion Police” “Although it’s very mean in some ways-” she began. But Rivers quickly cut her off, “It’s not mean. I tell the truth. I’m sure I say the same things that all your viewers say to their friends sitting next to them on the couch….”

“It’s not about them. It’s about clothing,” Rivers defended herself with a shrug.

Asked whether she had any boundaries when it comes to humor, Joan explained, “Life is very tough, and if you can make a joke to make something easier and funny, do it. Done. Do it.”

Despite the tense atmosphere, it was only when Whitfield asked about the fur that Joan sports on the cover of her new book that the interview took a drastic turn “This whole interview is becoming a defensive interview,” Rivers complained. “Are you wearing leather shoes? Shut up.”

“All you have done is negative. I make people laugh for fifty years,” Rivers added, incensed. “I am put on earth to make people laugh. My book is funny. I wear fur that was killed 15 years ago. I work for animal rights. Stop it with ‘and you do this,’ and ‘you’re mean,’ and ‘you do that.’”

Watch the whole interview below:

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Jason Biggs Gets in Bed With Joan Rivers

By Anne Cohen

For the last time: No, Jason Biggs is not Jewish (though he is married to Jenny Mollen, who definitely is).

The “Orange is the New Black” actor stopped by “In Bed With Joan” to promote the hit show’s second season, and joan Rivers launched the interview with the elephant in the room: “I was told over and over again that you’re Roman Catholic. And yet, you’ve never played a Roman Catholic. You play Jews.”

“Almost exclusively,” was the answer. “If it hasn’t been said that my character is Jewish, it has at least been implied.”

Thankfully for us, the Jewish talk didn’t stop there.

On being mistaken for Jewish in school: “I’m not entirely convinced yet that my mom didn’t have an affair with the town mohel. Where we grew up it was mostly Italian Catholics…There were only two Jews in our town, or at least in our school — and man, we hated them! So I let it be known early on that I was NOT one of them. Don’t let this (points to nose) fool you guys,” Biggs joked.

Watch the rest of the interview below:

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Joan Rivers Makes Another Tasteless Joke And Refuses to Apologize

By Anne Cohen

Joan Rivers is under fire for a joke she made while on the “Today” show with daughter Melissa on Tuesday.

Speaking about the guest room her daughter’s Malibu home, Rivers said:“Those women in the basement in Cleveland had more space” — referring to the three women held for over a decade in Ariel Castro’s “house of horrors.”

Yeah, not okay.

In pure Joan fashion, she refused to back down.

“They got to live rent free for more than a decade,” the 80-year-old told TMZ on Wednesday.

It was a “little, stupid joke” she added to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, “I’m a comedienne.There is nothing to apologize for. I made a joke. That’s what I do. Calm down. Calm f**k down. I’m a comedienne. They’re free, so let’s move on,”

Lawyers for Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight — Ariel Castro’s three victims — called “unfortunate comparison” both “shocking and disappointing.”

And once again, Joan dug herself even deeper into the hole: “One of them has a book deal. Neither are in a psych ward. They’re OK,” she told TMZ. “I bet you within 3 years one of them will be on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’”

Yikes.

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This Is What Joan Rivers' Bedroom Looks Like

By Anne Cohen

Joan Rivers is the Queen of Mean. And we love her for it.

But for all of her “Fashion Police” style dos and don’ts, the snarky diva made one heck of a decor faux-pas when she designed this particular room.

Picture courtesy of Christie’s Images, Ltd. 2014.

Yikes.

On the off-chance that frothy pink upholstery is your thing, head on over to Chrisitie’s New York on April 1-2, where property from Rivers’ country house in Connecticut will be up for auction. This particular monstrosity can be yours for the low, low estimated price of $2,000-3,000.

[h/t Vanity Fair]

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Joan Rivers Auctions Country House Furniture

By Patricia Reaney

(Reuters) — Acerbic comedian and fashion critic Joan Rivers is selling furniture, fine art, ceramics and other objects from her country home in Connecticut, Christie’s auction house said on Wednesday.

More than 150 items will go under the hammer during the New York sale which will be part of Christie’s interiors auction on April 1-2.

Rivers, 80, sold the house on the 760-acre country estate that also included a caretaker’s cottage last year for $4.4 million.

Highlights of the auction are expected to include a modern upholstered bed in pink linen, which could sell for up to $3,000, a pair of white-painted palm trees with a pre-sale estimate of as much as $5,000 and a collection of 15 animal horn trophies that could fetch $2,000.

“This home was filled with some of the treasure of my life,” Rivers, the 80-year-old veteran of plastic surgery who is known for her snide Oscar red carpet commentary, said in a statement announcing the sale.

Items in the auction range from very personal pieces made by her friends and top furniture makers to objects the Brooklyn-born, raspy-voiced star found while traveling for concerts.

A portion of the proceeds from the sale will be donated to charity.

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Joan Rivers Makes Her 'Tonight Show' Comeback

By Jana Banin

(JTA) — Monday Night marked Jimmy Fallon’s debut as host of “The Tonight Show.” It was also the first time Joan Rivers, among the parade of stars who took the stage to settle a $100 debt, appeared on the show in over 25 years. Even more monumental: It was the 49th anniversary of her first-ever “Tonight Show” appearance, on Feb. 17 1965.

“It’s about time!” Rivers said in a statement of her return, per The Hollywood Reporter. “I’ve been sitting in a taxi outside NBC with the meter running since 1987.”

Rivers was banned from the show by Johnny Carson after leaving her gig as his permanent guest host to helm Fox’s “The Late Show With Joan Rivers,” a competitor.

“Being in the studio brought back the most wonderful, wonderful memories of the night that jump-started my career,” she said. “So when people ask me, ‘Why was last night different from all other nights?’ I’ll tell them that it certainly beats Passover!”

See Rivers’ big comeback (plus Seth Rogen, Tina Fey, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, and many more) right here.

Photo credit: Getty Images.

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RIP Sid Caesar: Jewish Comedians Hail the Chief

By Anne Cohen

Veteran Jewish comedian Sid Caesar, who died in Beverly Hills on Wednesday at the age of 91, was one of the greats. Jewish comedians took to Twitter to pay their respects and hail their departed chief:

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Jewish Girl Talk With Joan Rivers and Shiri Appleby

By Anne Cohen

Every week, Joan Rivers has a one night stand with the celebrity of her choice.

We’re talking, obviously, about “In Bed With Joan,” (what did you have in mind?) Rivers’ online talk show which shows her dishing with fellow entertainers between the sheets.

This week, Shiri Appleby (“Roswell,” “Girls,” Chicago Fire”) joined Joan for what we could only hope would be some Jewish girl talk.

Strangely, that’s exactly what happened.

Rivers opened the episode by commenting on how confused people must be by the spelling of Appleby’s first name (“So how many people have called you Sherry?”). Somehow, this led to a discussion about the Hebrew meaning of Joan — which according to River, means “whiner” — and Shiri, which means “my song.”

“My parents said I was like the song in their hearts,” Appleby explained. “Until I turned into a teenager.”

As it turns out, Appleby is quite the funny lady. Other gems include:

On not naming her child Ira: “You’re just not going to have sex with Ira Shook.”

On her fiancee: “We’re both Jews. He’s a very cute Jewish cook… One of our first meals, he came over to my house and taught my mom how to make latkes.”

For more on Shiri’s new baby, her Jewish background (her mom is a Hebrew teacher) and what Joan really thinks of Lena Dunham, check out the video below:

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Joan Rivers Picks on Jennifer Lawrence — Wrong Move

By Anne Cohen

Joan Rivers picked the wrong lady to mess with.

The “Fashion Police” diva was irked by some comments made by Jennifer Lawrence — otherwise known as Queen of Awesome and America’s favorite person — during a Q&A with Yahoo! employees last week.

“There are shows like ‘The Fashion Police’ that are just showing these generations of young people to judge people based on all the wrong values and that it’s OK to point at people and call them ugly or fat,” the “Hunger Games” star said when asked about the pressure to be perfect.

Joan was not amused and sent out a series of tweets slamming the most likeable celebrity on the planet:

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Joan Rivers on the Kimye Wedding

By Anne Cohen

A good barometer of whether something is worth writing about or not is if Joan Rivers has anything to say about it. Another, higher (and rarer) measure of success is if she has something GOOD to say about it.

This week, the forthcoming Kanye West and Kim Kardashian nuptials win on both counts.

Upon hearing about Kanye finally popping the question to Kim — on her birthday, no less — Joan tweeted:

Sweet, right?

Well, it seems people were so amazed at her lack of snark that the our favorite fashion cop had to send another tweet, assuring her account had not, in fact, been hacked.

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Joan Rivers Knows How It's Done

By Anne Cohen

Joan Rivers knows how to do things. She can dress, she can walk and she can definitely talk. But just like other humans, Joan Rivers has to eat. Only, as always, she does it better.

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What Was Miley Thinking?

By Anne Cohen

Unless you’ve been living under a rock — or have no Internet connection, same difference — you’ve either seen or heard about Miley Cyrus’s ‘twerk’ performance at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night. After all, CNN devoted an obscene amount of time to covering the ex-“Hannah Montana” sweetheart, so it must be big news.

In any case, Miley should know that Joan Rivers is not impressed.

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Joan Rivers — Bachelorette?

By Anne Cohen

Getty Images
Joan Rivers

Forget “Real Housewives” or “The Bachelorette.” Joan Rivers is someone whose life we want to vicariously live every week on TV.

After more than 15 years of single life, Rivers has announced she is ready to find love — and we can watch her do it.

Starting in September, Rivers will star in a webseries on SheKnows TV, called “Romancing the Joan.”

Too good to be true you say? Well, it gets better.

The show will feature eight eligible bachelors vying for Joan’s heart. They’ll only have a couple of minutes to make a good impression before she gives the first round the axe (and you thought “Fashion Police” was harsh?).

I wanted all of them to stay,” Rivers, told SheKnows in an exclusive interview. “I need some new pool boys, a couple palm frond wavers and a grape peeler.”

The show will be hosted by Rivers’ daughter Melissa. According to the show’s promo, Melissa was less than impressed with the fact that some of the “yummy bachelors” are younger than her.

“Some of them were so young! It was gross,” Melissa told SheKnows. “I mean, do they even know how old my mother is?”

Joan, being Joan, answered: “Do you even know how old I am?”

A real lady never tells.

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A Zinger From Joan Rivers

By Anne Cohen

Paula Deen jokes have been all over the Internet since the Southern food maven’s use of the N-word and other racial slurs became public knowledge.

But none of the aforementioned gags tops Joan Rivers’ tweet, posted on Friday after it was announced that Barry Weiss, Deen’s longtime agent, had gotten the sack:

Touche, Joan. Touche.

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Joan Rivers vs. Writers Guild of America

By Anne Cohen

Getty Images
Joan Rivers

“Fashion Police” guru Joan Rivers is in hot water with the Writers Guild of America.

The Council of the Writers Guild of America East voted to send charges filed against Rivers to a trial board Wednesday, raising the stakes in the ongoing strike of “Fashion Police” writers, Variety reported.

“The writers on that show are paid a fraction of industry-standard compensation and receive no health or pension benefits,” a statement released by the WGA East read.

“We are distressed by reports that Joan Rivers, who worked so hard to create an illustrious career, turned her back on other writers who are still building careers of their own,” added WGA East president Michael Winship in the same release.

“The question of whether she has, in fact, violated our working rules will be decided by the trial board,” he added. “We cannot pre-judge the outcome, but we can say that it is a very serious matter when a member is accused of writing and showrunning on a non-covered show, and continuing to do so after the other writers have decided to go on strike for reasonable pay and benefits.”

Rivers, a lifetime member of the WGA East will appear before a three-person trial board to present her case. The representatives have yet to be chosen.

In a series of Youtube clips released to explain the strikers’ point of view, writers expressed their extreme disappointment at Rivers’ lack of support for the strike.

“The fact that Joan Rivers isn’t just the star, but a member of the Writers Guild and she won’t support her fellow Writers Guild member, is just astonishing to me,”said Nic Rice, one of the writers. “It’s such a basic fairness issue.”

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Joan Rivers Gets A Face Full Of Cake

By Anne Cohen

Joan Rivers may have postponed her birthday celebrations last week, but she didn’t skimp on birthday cake. When singer Fergie came on “Fashion Police” on Monday night to show off her baby bump, she brought Joan a little treat.

Ever classy, Joan dug in.

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Joan Rivers' 80th Birthday Bash Postponed

By Anne Cohen

Getty Images
Joan Rivers

Happy birthday to Joan Rivers, who turns 80 today (but shhh — a lady never tells)!

Unfortunately, the party that was meant to mark Rivers’ eight decades in this world was cancelled due to the sad passing of her sister, lawyer Barbara Waxler, the New York Post reported.

300 people were to attend the fete held at the Metropolitan club, decorated by friend Preston Bailey. A spokeswoman for Rivers told the Post that the “Fashion Police” co-host’s birthday celebrations were officially on hold and that the party was postponed.

E! announced that it would be celebrating its resident diva by handing over the entire network to her for a week.

In the meantime, our hearts go out to Joan.

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Grindr To Donate Revenue In Support Of Surrogacy In Israel

By Anne Cohen

A Wider Bridge

Grindr, the popular gay mobile app, has announced that it will be donating 100% of all revenue from new subscribers to Grindr Extra this week to Israeli couple Yuval and Liran, as part of their Grindr for Equality world campaign.

“I read about Yuval and Liran’s emotional personal story and was impressed by their creativity in pursuing their dream of fatherhood, and their persistence, recruiting international celebrities such as Joan Rivers, to help raise awareness that in so many parts of the world the joy of parenthood and other aspects of family are still not available to gays who are not equals in the eye of the law.” Joel Simkhai, Israeli-born CEO and founder of Grindr said in a statement.

“We at Grindr believe in giving back to the gay community that’s been so loyal to us and made us the #1 dating app for gays. With our ability to reach millions of users, Grindr is in a unique position to provide real and meaningful assistance within the community and advance the cause of our community worldwide.”

The story of Yuval and Liran, an Israeli couple who have been trying to have a kid via surrogacy for the past two years and lost most of their money, in the process went viral after the couple filmed themselves holding up signs criticizing Israeli surrogacy laws, which they see as discriminatory against gay couples. A number of Israeli celebrities supported their cause by photographing themselves holding up similar signs, stating “We want them to have a baby too,”

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