The Shmooze

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake Are Having a Baby

By John A. Oswald

At one point or other, Justin Timberlake has been every Jewish girl’s fantasy gentile boyfriend.

And that makes the gentleladies here at The Forward convinced — absolutely convinced — that he cooed these Paul Anka lyrics to his wife, Jessica Biel, when the EPT came back with a plus sign.

“You’re having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me.
Having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ what you’re thinkin’ of me.”

A modern feminist interpretation describes the song as utterly sexist, but we could see Biel getting all doe-eyed as the hunk-a-dunk sang on.

Ok. None of this happened. All we know is what Timberlake Instagrammed: a pic of him kissing the gorgeous actress/model’s baby bump.

Justin Timberlake/Instagram

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Andy Samberg 'Kidnapped' for Biel-Timberlake Nups

By Renee Ghert-Zand

Are we surprised that Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 84, jumped up out of her seat at a Q&A session following a screening of the movie “The Sessions” and demanded that actress Helen Hunt use contraceptives? Not at all. In fact, we would have been disappointed if she hadn’t. The film is about a sex surrogate, played by Hunt, who introduces a polio-stricken poet to the pleasures of sexual intimacy. “Every psychology class, anybody who has dealings with sexuality and education should see this film,” the famous sexologist said in giving the movie the Dr. Ruth seal of approval.

Getty Images

It was kind of hard to avoid hearing the news last week that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake got married in Italy. Among the guests (or kidnap victims, as some of the gossip media is putting it) at their destination wedding was funnyman Andy Samberg.

Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan spoke in front of an audience at the University of Tennessee last week. Sure, she talked law, but what really got people’s attention were her stories about hunting with fellow Justice Antonin Scalia. “I’m hoping to bag myself an antelope,” she shared.

The love spell has worn off. Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame is now single and available, following a breakup with girlfriend Rosie Coker. The couple had met on the “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” set back in 2007.

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