Confused by the whole Jay Z/Beyoncé/Solange elevator spat? Here’s an easy way to make sense of it. Just imagine Jay Z as Jacob, Beyoncé as Rachel and Solange as Leah. Here’s how it would have gone down in Bible times:
1. “And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice.”
Bey and Jay first meet, they sing, they’re hot, it’s awesome.
2. “And Leah’s eyes were weak; but Rachel was of beautiful form and fair to look upon.”
Little sister Solange may be an indie princess, but Beyoncé is a queen. Beyoncé and Jay Z get hitched. But lo and behold…
3. “And it came to pass in the morning that, behold, it was Leah.”
Solange is everywhere. Jay Z can’t turn his head without catching a glimpse of her. The wrong sister.
4. “And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel.”
‘Does your sister have to follow us everywhere?’ — Elevator street fight ensues.
5. “And Rachel said: ‘With mighty wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and have prevailed.”
6. “And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to her.”