We’re two weeks from Halloween folks, which means while the rest of the country is already in the full swing Christmas kitsch, we of the tribal persuasion get to celebrate something much more special this year. And why shouldn’t we go all out? It’s going to be another 70,000 years, or approximately 2,800 generations, before Thanksgivukkah graces our calendars again.
In honor of this rare occasion, here are six pieces of ridiculous stuff that you absolutely must have on your family table, or the Pilgrims/Maccabees will be shamed.
1. The greeting cards.
Available from the National Museum of American Jewish History and ModernTribe, this is you last chance in this life time to send out cards with such pithy jokes on them as “Nun Gobble Hey Shin,” and “What did the turkey say to the Maccabee? — You think YOU got problems?”
Plates with a color scheme that expertly combines the joy of Hanukkah colors with the overindulgence of Thanksgiving. Square-shaped to allow for just that much more piling of food upon them.
3. American Gothikkah poster
To be prominently displayed next to Uncle Murray’s paint-by-number’s masterpiece. Available from ModernTribe.com.
Available for men and women. Your bubbie might not let you wear it to the table, but it will serve as the best type of souvenir: the type you crumble up and shove the back of your drawer, to be occasionally unearthed, chuckled at, and put back in the drawer.
5. The recipes
Buzzfeed (yes, Buzzfeed) put together an impressive and extensive list of Thankgivukkah recipes, including Maneschewitz-marinated turkey, pecan pie rugelach, and sweet potato noodle kugel.
6. And of course, the Menurkey.