The Shmooze

7 Actors for 'Ten Commandments' Remake

By Anne Cohen

  • Print
  • Share Share
Getty Images
Charlton Heston as Moses in “The Ten Commandments.”

At Passover-time, only one thing is as constant as the dry taste of matzo: the inevitable reruns of “The Ten Commandments.” While I have tremendous respect for the immovable classic, and Charlton Heston (or Old Stoneface, as he’s affectionately known in my family), 56 years is a good long run. It’s time for a change.

“But what about the Prince of Egypt!” you may cry out. I know, I know. But when you were gleefully singing along to “When You Believe,” did you realize that the person behind Moses’ voice was Val Kilmer? Or that Sandra Bullock played Miriam? I thought not.

After thinking long and hard about who could lead such an ambitious project, it hit me. Who better to lead a reinterpretation of Exodus than the king of historical reinterpretations?

Yes, you guessed it.

I give you my fantasy “Ten Commandments” remake, Quentin Tarantino-style (just imagine the parting of the Dead Sea scene. It already has the word “dead” in it).

Eli Roth as Moses — Though a successful director, you probably know Roth from his role as the baseball bat-wielding “Bear Jew” in 2009’s “Inglorious Basterds.” Replace the bat with a shepherd’s crook, and you’ve got a killer Moses (literally!).

Mel Gibson as Pharaoh Ramses II —‘Nuff said.

Natalie Portman as Miriam — No one does strong, yet vulnerable like Natalie Portman. She’ll have us cheering with one heavy-lidded, tear-filled-but-determined glance.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Aaron — With that face, who wouldn’t follow him into the desert?

Emanuelle Chriqui as Tzipporah — Every Tarantino film needs a breakout actress, and let’s face it: she already played every Jewish boy’s fantasy on “Entourage.”

James Franco as Joshua — Strong and silent, poised to take over leadership after Moses’ exile, but not without a violent internal struggle. This just screams “Best Supporting Actor.”

Samuel L. Jackson as Pharaoh Seti I — It’s not Tarantino without Samuel L.

Is there anyone you would like to see in “The Ten Commandments”? Share it below!

Watch Eli Roth talk about “Inglorious Basterds,” oppression, and spending Passover with Quentin Tarantino.


Permalink | | Share | Email | Print | Filed under: ten commandments, samuel l. jackson, quentin tarantino, passover, natalie portman, mel gibson, joseph gordon-levitt, jewish, emmanuelle chriqui, james franco, eli roth

The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.




Find us on Facebook!
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • Would you get to know racists on a first-name basis if you thought it might help you prevent them from going on rampages, like the recent shooting in Kansas City?
  • "You wouldn’t send someone for a math test without teaching them math." Why is sex ed still so taboo among religious Jews?
  • Russia's playing the "Jew card"...again.
  • "Israel should deal with this discrimination against Americans on its own merits... not simply as a bargaining chip for easy entry to the U.S." Do you agree?
  • For Moroccan Jews, the end of Passover means Mimouna. Terbhou ou Tse'dou! (good luck) How do you celebrate?
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.