The Shmooze

The Rosh-Hashanah Beauty Regimen

By Michael Kaminer

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It sounded a bit like a HEEB parody: SpaMitzvah, a body-care company “Where Gorgeously Yiddish Beauty Reigns Supreme!”, issued a press release this week about a High Holidays-themed body-care line.

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The “homage to Rosh Hashanah,” with apples-and-honey-inspired body and bath products, “commemorate[s] the sweet treats that are enjoyed at the Jewish New Year,” the press release said.

How does that translate into product? Think body scrub “in such flavors as Applebaum (apples & cinnamon), Honeybaum (pure honey) and Apple Rosenbaum (a luxurious blend of organic rose and apple),” and a matching range of bath gels dubbed “shower syrups.” A bath milk called “Honey Rosenbaum” combines organic Milk Powder [sic], Honey Powder, Cocoa Butter and Kosher Honey,” and SpaMitzvah Body Oil — our favorite — “will anoint your temple with oils of Shea Nut and Vitamin E.”

Aside from Jewishy names and holiday themes, the company’s website doesn’t really clue you in to what “Yiddish beauty” means. “Whilst our fabulous skincare is proudly described with a shameless sprinkling of Mame-loshn — topped off with a haute kosher heaping of Yiddish flair — we are proud to be an eclectic group of shiny happy people from all cultures, races and religions,” it trumpets. “Not to mention the fact that we are all a bunch of ‘type-A,’ ‘earth hugging,’ pamper-privileged ‘mavens and mensches’ – with an uber cool company name! Yet, we are most proud of being committed to serving you – whilst pampering your precious body temple and our big beautiful planet, equally!”

It’s all for real, according to a spokesperson. In fact, more holiday collections are planned. “In addition to Rosh Hashanah, we offer a full menu for Hanukkah — where we focus on more “Jewish” themed holiday treats like Chocolatke and Sufganiot (Jelly doughnuts),” the spokesperson wrote the Forward. “In addition, we have a Chrismukkah line, with a Jewish spin on the regular Christmas themed skin fare. For example, instead of Gingerbread, we have a fabulous line of ‘Ginger Rosenberg’ products. We also have a Mint Yenta line-up, instead of Peppermint and we have an Egg Nosh line, instead of Egg Nog!”

No word yet on matzoh-based face scrub or Shabbos-candle shaving wax.


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