Help! I Left My Job; Now I'm Nostalgic for It
By Mayim Bialik
Dear Bintel Brief:
A few months ago, I decided to leave a very demanding job in television production. I had been there for five years and I was, quite simply, burned out. I felt like I needed a change of pace and direction in my life.
Ever since quitting, though, my anxiety about what to do next has been paralyzing. I’ve had some informational interviews, but, during them, I have had a hard time articulating why I want to work at one company or another because I’m not sure that I do. These interviews always leave me feeling nostalgic for my old job; sometimes I wish I was still there. But when I’m honest with myself, I know I need a fresh start — maybe even in a different field. How should I go about finding something that will make me happy, when I feel so directionless?
LOST IN SPACE
Mayim Bialik reponds
September 21, 2009, 10:49am
Help! I Feel Like I'm My Therapist's Therapist
By Mayim Bialik
Dear Bintel Brief:
I’ve been seeing my physical therapist for a while now and we’ve grown pretty close. She recently separated from her husband and now, during my appointment, all she talks about are her marital problems and whom she’s dating. Sometimes she’ll get teary eyed while she’s treating me, which makes me feel uncomfortable. She’s very skilled, but now my physical therapy appointments feel more like counseling sessions for her. Should I tell her and, if so, how? Or would it be best to just find someone new?
IN TREATMENT
Mayim Bialik responds:
September 14, 2009, 12:29pm
A College Grad: Dependent on Dad, Consumed by Guilt
By Mayim Bialik
Dear Bintel Brief:
As a recent college graduate, I feel very lucky — particularly in this economic environment — to have landed a job in a creative and very competitive field. I find my work fulfilling in all respects but one: It simply doesn’t pay enough for me to live even a no-frills existence in New York, where my job is.
Since my workweeks regularly exceed 60 hours, and my job requires me to be “on call” most evening and weekends, seeking out a second job to supplement my meager paycheck does not seem like a realistic option.
My parents are currently giving me around $200 a month to help pay my bills and rent. However, the check inevitably comes with both a nudge from my dad about the importance of self-sufficiency and with a whole lot of self-imposed guilt and frustration that I can’t stand on my own two feet.
I’m embarrassed asking for and accepting handouts from my parents, who paid in full for my education with the reasonable expectation that I’d be paying my own bills after graduation. But I don’t see another way to make ends meet if I am going to stay on what I think is a very promising career path.
What should I do?
DEPENDENT ON DAD
Mayim Bialik replies:
September 7, 2009, 3:20pm
How To Answer the Question 'Are You Pregnant Yet?'
By Mayim Bialik
Dear Bintel Brief:
Six months ago, my husband and I began trying to conceive our first child. Since we’re both young and healthy, and had no reason to think we’d encounter any problems getting pregnant, we told close friends and family that we were “trying.”
But making a baby has proved harder than expected, and I’m still not pregnant. Not only am I facing disappointment and frustration month after month, those feelings are compounded by frequent questions from loved ones who want to know if I’m “pregnant yet” — and if not, why not, and if I want to talk about it. When I say that I don’t, the conversation often becomes uncomfortable.
I wish my husband and I had kept quiet about our plans to start a family. But now that the cat is out of the bag: How should I tell inquiring minds to cease and desist, as far as pregnancy questions are concerned, without alienating cherished friends and family members?
TRYING TO CONCEIVE
Mayim Bialik replies:
August 31, 2009, 1:50pm
Mayim Bialik Has Some Advice for Forward Readers
By Bintel Brief
Mayim Hoya Bialik, who is best know for her lead role as Blossom Russo on the early-1990s NBC sitcom “Blossom,” will be answering readers’ questions as the Forward’s guest Bintel Brief advice columnist during the month of September.
After “Blossom,” Bialik went on to study neuroscience and Hebrew and Jewish studies at UCLA, where she ultimately earned a Ph.D. in neuroscience. While at the university, she was an active student leader at the campus Hillel — starting a women’s Rosh Chodesh group and serving as a lay chazzanut.
More recently, she has appeared in the HBO comedy “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and, beginning this fall, she will have a recurring role on the ABC Family drama “The Secret Life of the American Teenager.”
Bialik, who was brought up in a Yiddish-speaking home and describes herself as an “avid student of all things Jewish,” is a board member, co-founder and chairwoman of the Jewish Free Loan Association’s Genesis branch. She also studies weekly with a mentor from Partners in Torah.
A married mother of two young sons, she is the celebrity spokeswoman for the Holistic Moms Network. Her Web site is www.mayimbialik.net.
If you have a question for the Bintel Brief, email bintelbrief@forward.com. Selected letters will be published anonymously. New installments of the Bintel Brief, featuring Mayim Bialik, will be published Mondays in September at www.forward.com.
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