The Bintel Brief

Bintel Brief: Rabbi Shmuley Boteach Answers Your Questions

By Shmuley Boteach

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With books like “Kosher Sex,” “Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments” and “Judaism for Everyone” and his television series “Shalom in the Home” on The Learning Channel, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has brought an unabashedly Jewish perspective on family life and relationships to a popular audience. For the next month, he’ll be giving our readers some life perspective as the Forward’s next Bintel Brief guest advice columnist.

“An ancient Jewish aphorism relates the difference between the clever man and the wise man. The clever man can extricate himself from a situation into which the wise man would never have gotten himself into in the first place,” Boteach told the Forward. “Giving people advice involves being wise rather than merely clever. And wisdom, in turn, results both from having a values-system — in my case Judaism — as well as life’s experiences.”

Are you facing a Jewish dilemma, an ethical conundrum or family difficulties? Could you use some shalom in your home? Send your questions for the Bintel Brief to bintelbrief@forward.com. Letters selected for publication will be published anonymously.

Check the Forward’s Web site Mondays in August for new installments of the Bintel Brief, featuring Rabbi Boteach.

To read previous installments of the Bintel Brief, click here. To read vintage Bintel Briefs and learn more about the column’s storied history, click here.


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Comments
y p Tue. Aug 7, 2007

my (ex)wife refuses to accept a get! (i have a seruv/contempt of court, etc against her; its worthless!) i offered her $$$ (should be the other way around) etc. since then, i got a special "heter" permission from rabbinical court to remarry (very difficult to obtain, takes time, and takes big $$$) when she is woken up, etc, and requests a get, can i make it conditional then on reimbursing me my extra (substantial) expenses???

Fed up Thu. Aug 9, 2007

I read your article on dating in The Jewish Press. You made many good points and I appreciate your attempt to wake up some people who are "far off the course". I was surprised that you did not mention the fact that so many men will also not date women their own age anymore, requiring instead for women to be at least 5, if not 10 years younger than them.

Harry Fisher Thu. Aug 9, 2007

“And wisdom, in turn, results both from having a values-system — in my case Judaism — as well as life’s experiences.” These values-systems, must they be "official" and be written down? Is it necessary for a values-system to have a tradition, conferring authority by virtue of its ancient origins? Isn't it entirely possible to create one's own values-system, eclectically choosing elements from the many values-systems that we know of? I believe we can, and that wisdom comes from life experiences and, most importantly, observation.

Helene Cohen Mon. Mar 3, 2008

My beautiful 30 year old red-headed daughter who lives in New York, just can't seem to find the right one. Of course she wants "the complete package" and feels that conservative/traditional judaism is where she's comfortable. J-Dates a waste, the bars are hopeless. Any ideas.

Marcy and Dave Litvin Mon. Nov 17, 2008

Dear Shmuley, We enjoy reading your column in the Jewish Press which we fing so informative and enlightening,therefore, we seek your guidance regarding the following matter. We are a loving, devoted and religious couple interested in domestic adoption. We are in our early 40's and got married five years ago. We are creative, athletic and well established. We were wondering if you would know of a birth mother that you could put in contact with us. Thank you so much for your time and effort. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Please e-mail us at damarcy@aol.com Marcy and Dave Litvin

GENO Tue. Feb 3, 2009

If you live in a country and a leader/president is voted in by the people, Should you pray for this leader.. regardless of your political belief's? Is it not the LAW? sHALOM G. Rivera Santa Maria , ca




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