Two courses are underway to teach the teachers of Orthodox brides, grooms and married couples how to better prepare their students for healthy sex lives.
In Israel, a course for male teachers of grooms is currently being held at the Puah Institute and in New York, a course for female teachers of brides will be held for the second time by the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance.](http://www.jofa.org/).
According to this article the Puah course, run in conjunction with Bar-Ilan University, is training marriage counselors and rabbis to address sexual problems among married Orthodox Jews. The JOFA course is titled “Demystifying Sex & Teaching Halakha: A Kallah Teacher’s Workshop,” and is being held in conjunction with Yeshivat Chovevei Torah Rabbinical School and Yeshivat Maharat. March 13th-16th.
But as I wrote in this New York Times piece, there has been a growing embrace, in recent years, of the need to address — or even prevent — such problems.
Crossposted from Haaretz.
At 32, Likud’s Tzipi Hotovely is the youngest Knesset member; she was raised on religious Zionism. An attorney by profession, she takes part in right-wing ideological battles. But she also wears another hat as head of the Knesset Committee on the Status of Women. In the run-up to International Women’s Day today, a series of bills designed to benefit Israeli women were proposed — and most of them shot down — by the Constitution, Law and Justice Committee. She spoke recently with Mazal Mualem.
Mazal Mualem: Is this a happy day for Israel’s women?
Tzipi Hotovely: The trend is always one of improvement, though there is still a lot of progress to be made in women’s rights, and we’re still far from the equality we seek. We’re in the midst of a week in which the social workers’ cries have been heard; their struggle reflects the sad situation of women’s salaries, as more than 90 percent of social workers are women. This can be seen also in other professions staffed by women such as teaching and childcare. In professions in which women are dominant, salaries are much lower, and public battles are fainter because, I’m sorry to say, women are still considered secondary wage-earners.
The work world creates the dilemma of career versus family for many women. This is one of the goals of the committee I head: to provide relief for working women by making daycare more accessible to more sectors of the population. It hasn’t yet happened, unfortunately, and as long as childcare expenses are higher than salaries, we’ll see more women staying home.
Once upon a time, baby clothes printed with pithy phrases extolling cuteness referred to the cuteness of the baby. But on a new crop of cheeky onesies that I discovered while out shopping for my nephew, it is all about the mommy.
With phrases like “If you think I’m cute, you should see my mommy,” on Amazon and “My Mom’s a Fox,” at Target, these onesies direct your eyes to the attractive little number pushing the cart, not the one in it. There is even “She’s not a cougar, she’s my nana,” at the Los Angeles boutique Kitson.
I can’t help but find it all a bit gross. (Not that grandma can’t be sexy, but does she really need her new grandson to advertise it on his tiny chest? A time and a place, ladies, a time and a place.) At Walmart you can customize a onesie or fleece romper with a “cute” relative’s name. Their example is “If you think I am cute, you should see my Aunt Barbara.” Looks like the cult of female hotness has struck again, this time with a strange Freudian twist.
Today is the 100th annual International Women’s Day, commemorating the achievements of women, past and present. This year’s theme: “Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women.”
Who are the top 10 Jewish women in labor history? Anticipating the centenary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire, which killed 146 garment workers — most of them young Jewish and Italian women — the Jewish Women’s Archive’s Jewesses With Attitude blog is profiling the Jewish women who had a transformative impact on workers’ rights legislation in America.
After designer John Galliano’s was caught on tape making virulently anti-Semitic remarks, Rachel Shukert, over at Tablet, looks into high fashion’s hateful legacy.
“Graphic Details: Confessional Comics by Jewish Women” is the first museum exhibit to explore this unique niche of autobiographical storytelling by Jewish women. The touring exhibit, sponsored by the Forward, features the work of 18 Jewish women artists. The Jewish Women’s Archive — whose Jewesses With Attitude blog partners regularly with The Sisterhood — is interviewing each of the artists about their work and their experience as a female, Jewish graphic artist. This week’s interview is with Lauren Weinstein whose comics first appeared as syndicated strips in the Seattle Stranger and gURL.com. Weinstein published her first solo comic, the Xeric Foundation award-winning Inside Vineyland, in 2003. Her story collection “Girl Stories” was published in 2006.
Leah Berkenwald: How does your Jewish identity influence your work?
Lauren Weinstein: My Jewish identity manifests itself in my personality with neuroses and self hatred and obsessive compulsions for whatever is going on in my life (right now it’s making curtains for my house; I look online at least five times a day for the best deals on textiles). Also a bleak and cynical world view which my Atheist grandfather gave to me, and also the constant urge to kvetch. So basically all the negative aspects of my personality I can attribute to being Jewish, but I also feel it gives me the power to laugh about it all.
Do you think the experience of being a cartoon artist is different for men and women?
In a post on eJewish Philanthropy’s blog on Tuesday, rock musician and Jewish feminist blogger Naomi Less discusses four recent communal endeavors at which she believes women were given the shaft.
Less doesn’t simply list grievances against the Jewish community, but suggests solutions to the problem of female under-representation, and proposes a series of four questions that every organization should ask itself when planning events to avoid gender discrimination or misrepresentation. She even offers to connect various organizations with different women for their events.
Reading Less’s commentary and her recounting of these episodes are both heartening and exhausting: We are still having the same conversation about how to include Jewish women in a community that is apparently evolving towards a place of gender inclusion. Furthermore, as is demonstrated in the comments following Less’s piece, members of the Jewish community continue to question the validity of that conversation.
A cantor at a Conservative synagogue, Congregation Beth El in Vorhees, N.J., is featured in this video, put up by the professional organization Cantors Assembly. It’s a lovely portrayal of female cantor Alisa Pomerantz-Boro, who works at at what had been a non-egalitarian shul. The video shows how she has changed the hearts and minds of the congregants as she leads by example and creates possibilities for other women, as well as men, to grow in their observance and connection to God and tradition.
It’s worth watching.
The photos of 14 men are plastered across the cover of last week’s finance supplement of Yediot Aharonot. What makes this particularly outrageous is the context: a story on the salaries of senior managers in Israel’s business sector. Apparently there is not a single woman in Israel’s business community making a salary worth reporting about.
The issue at hand is a legislative effort currently underway to correct socioeconomic inequalities by capping top salaries in publicly traded companies. Last week, Justice Minister Yaakov Neeman, who is heading the committee debating the issue, announced that the government will not intervene in salary decisions, because “[i]ntervening can cause more harm than good”. And so, men such as Haim Katzman, chairman of Gazit Globe, who made 18.8 million NIS ($5.2 million) in 2009; Eli Yunis, CEO of Mizrahi Tfahot, who made 18.6 million NIS ($5.1 million), and Shlomo Rodev, chairman of Bezeq, who made 11.74 million NIS ($3.26 million), will continue to get what they want and believe that they deserve, without any government action. It’s like the Wild West over here — if you can get it, grab it, and there’s nobody to stop you. At least if you’re a man.
“Do you like the blond better? With or without the ponytail?”
Wig-shopping is the new initiation into religious life for women, writes Tali Farkash, a Haredi columnist for Ynet who alternates between defending religious life and kvetching about it. If women used to accompany brides to the mikveh in order to welcome them ritualistically into the club of married women, she says, today a trip to the sheitel macher, or wig-maker, is the thing to do. Farkash, who recently accompanied her friend to get a wig, is still recovering from the experience.
Her friend sat “right there on the seat of honor at the sheitel macher’s,” Farkash writes, “surrounded by relatives whose job it is to say ‘That looks so nice on you!’ and to elegantly avoid the obvious questions about the net in front that presses on the forehead, or the sadistic job of the comber. There is something bittersweet about sitting on the waiting couch as a support, witnessing the metamorphosis… from permitted hair to forbidden hair.”
The sheitel is undoubtedly one of the strangest customs of modern Jewish life. No matter how many perky rebbetzins try to write funny or pedagogical blogs to rationalize this practice, there is no way to make this normal or sane. “Every attempt to take the discussion out of the religious-halachic loop is doomed to failure,” Farkash writes.
The language of human morality has no way to make sense of this. That’s not to say people don’t try.
While we have been busy looking at women in magazines, Martha Lauzen, executive director of the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University has been tracking the rather sluggish growth of women in Hollywood. The Center just released its annual report, “The Celluloid Ceiling: Behind-the-Scenes Employment of Women on the Top 250 Films of 2010” and the numbers are dismal.
According to the report, women made up just 7% of directors, 10% of writers, 15% of executive producers, 24% of producers, 18% of editors and 2% of cinematographers. That means roughly that only 16% of Hollywood bigwigs are women — sadly, a 1% decline from 1998.
In her report made public on the Women’s Media Center website, Lauzen writes that some industry insiders explain this disparity by saying that fewer women are interested in working in film, but she says that simply isn’t true and has film school enrollment to back her up. Others explain the lack of women by suggesting that men are, well, better, as evidenced by their bigger box-office success. Lauzen says men earn more at the box office because their films get bigger budgets, and that studies show that films with similar budgets, regardless of who makes them, fair similarly at the box office.
“Graphic Details: Confessional Comics by Jewish Women” is the first museum exhibit to explore this unique niche of autobiographical storytelling by Jewish women. The touring exhibit, sponsored by the Forward, features the work of 18 Jewish women artists. The Jewish Women’s Archive — whose Jewesses With Attitude blog partners regularly with The Sisterhood — is interviewing each of the artists about their work and their experience as a female, Jewish graphic artist. This week’s interview is with Miriam Katin, author of “We Are On Our Own,” a story of a mother and her daughter’s survival in WWII and a number of other other works.
Leah Berkenwald: How did you get into cartooning?
Miriam Katin: I am doing comics and it is different from cartooning. I think. During my work in animation I met artists who did comics and I felt that with this method, much drawing and not much text, I can tell my stories.
How does your Jewish identity influence your work?
In every way since all my work is coming from being Jewish. My place in history, relationships, my faith or the lack of it etc.
If you have a career, being a mother in this country costs you — in promotions and salary, and, because of a near total lack of legally mandated parental leave, in physical and emotional health as well. This is a well-known reality for every working mom I know, and now the international NGO Human Rights Watch has published a comprehensive look at the breadth and depth of the problem, and notes that it also has a negative impact on the economy.
The report, titled “Failing Its Families,” which can be read in its entirety here, says that the U.S. is one of just three countries in the world — alongside Papua New Guinea and Swaziland — that lack paid maternity leave.
The report continues:
The parents interviewed for this report recounted serious harms related to the meager policy supports for US working families. They described struggling with the lack of paid leave, and reported negative effects on their careers, on family finances, or on their children’s health. Many also confronted inflexible workplaces after leave, including with respect to requests for flexible hours or reduced schedules, and concerning pumping breast milk at work.
The White House released a comprehensive report today on the state of women in America, the first report of its kind in nearly 50 years. The information in the report isn’t new, but rather a compilation of a wide-range of studies that together provide an aerial view of the progress, and lack of progress, made by women over the past five decades.
I broke it down into good news and bad news. I am starting with the good. (Note: Good news, to me, means an increase in life choices and opportunities available to women. I am not, for example, saying fewer children is good news; but that more women feel that they can choose whether or not to have children is definitely a positive change.)
Here’s the good news:
Eve Ensler is working towards nothing short of a non-violent global revolution.
A “Schumpeter” column on February 19 in The Economist (“The Art of Management”) called on managers in the business sector to learn from the art world how to think creatively about markets (Damien Hirst), products (Titian), communications (Orwell) and dealing with prima donna “clevers” in their employ (“Entourage” anyone?). Eve Ensler, talking about her most recent book, “I Am an Emotional Creature” at Jewish Book Week in London was advocating a more radically creative way of thinking about business and governance — the V-Party.
For the past decade there has been an annual V-Day, where Ensler’s famous “Vagina Monologues” has been performed in multiple venues around the world. Every year more places put on performances, most of the proceeds from which go to the local communities for women’s charities. The last couple of years the spotlight has been on the “City of Joy” — a leadership training facility for abused women in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
Although this is the apotheosis of Ensler’s activism — “vagina warriors” training centrally to end violence, traditions of mutilation and to take up leadership positions in a fragile society — it is by no means the extent of it. Her energy (and that, in itself, is remarkable, not least in the face a serious illness last year) is globally distributed, even as her literary gifts are most impressive when concretely focused. For Ensler her incipient V-Party might just be one way to move people who are committed to ending violence and oppression from informal leadership to elected positions.
Tune into what is now the highest-rated program on Israeli television, “Big Brother,” and you will encounter a female character never been featured before on local screens. Her name is Frida Hecht — a heavy-set, outspoken, recovering heroin addict with a crew cut. She’s a lesbian, and about as far out of the closet as it is possible to get.
A Tel Aviv restaurant owner, Frida does not hesitate to assert herself, cheerfully acknowledges her flaws and limitations, and is outspoken about the more bourgeois residents of the “Big Brother” house and their “empty materialistic lives that are all surface and no content.”
Declaring that she is unafraid of being voted off of the show by viewers, she has no problem taking positions that are unpopular with the audience. Early in the show, she insisted on taking the house copy of the Bible in to the bathroom with her, saying that she needs to read something while on the toilet, and that is the only book in the house. When Yoram Cohen, an Orthodox resident of the house was offended by her bringing the holy book into the bathroom, Frida stood her ground and a screaming match ensued. More than 2,500 viewers then signed an online petition calling for Frida to be voted out of the house as a result of her behavior. But her sympathizers outnumbered her enemies, and Cohen ended up being the one voted off the show.
I was among some 6,000 reproductive-rights advocates who attended a rally for women’s health over the weekend to stand up for Planned Parenthood and a woman’s right to choose in the face of the most dangerous political assault on women’s rights we’ve seen in years. The signs in the crowd were witty, the long and varied list of speakers and performers was impressive — with young women, reproductive justice advocates and women of color well-represented and kicking butt. Kathleen Hanna of the famed Riot Grrl musical movement even spoke about her own experiences going to Planned Parenthood in her early days as a struggling musician.
But one of the coolest things about the rally was the strong showing of male allies on stage and on the ground in Manhattan’s Foley Square. On stage, a group of Jewish male New York politicians made a series of completely impassioned, fiery speeches that shocked me with their urgent tone. Congressmen Eliot Engel, Jerrold Nadler, Anthony Weiner and Senator Charles Schumer were four of a number of wonderful speakers.
While Forward “Ingredients” columnist Leah Koenig may be a self-taught cook, she has certainly made the most of her education. She is currently an acting associate editor at Saveur magazine, and is the former editor-in-chief of the food and sustainability blog The Jew and the Carrot, which is now a joint project of the Forward and Hazon. She is also the author of “The Hadassah Everyday Cookbook: Daily Meals for the Contemporary Kitchen,” due out March 8. I recently interviewed Koenig about writing a cookbook that is affiliated with a venerable women’s organization, cooking trends in two-career households and what makes this cookbook different from most other Jewish cookbooks on the market.
Jordana Horn: How did your affiliation with Hadassah come about?
Leah Koenig: My mom is a longtime Hadassah member and active in our local chapter in Chicago, so I’ve always felt like Hadassah was, by extension, a part of my life and my Jewish experience. Needless to say, I was really excited and honored to be asked to work on this project. It seemed like such a perfect opportunity to share my love of seasonal cooking and Jewish culture with readers, while working within the framework of this timeless organization.
The only time in my conflict reporting career that I received different treatment from the guys occurred in Johannesburg in 1993. Our Reuters bureau was finally — finally! — being outfitted with flak jackets to cover the violence surrounding the end of apartheid. Since a big part of the job involved driving into townships filled with men pointing assault rifles, I was very happy to receive body armor at long last.
What a surprise, though, when I opened the box. My flak jacket was red. The guys’ were blue.
“That’s because you’re a girl,” one of the cameramen joked. Everyone chortled. I left it at that.
Fortunately the gender distinction was never made in terms of assignments. I was chosen to cover the worst tumult on the Durban coast. The civil wars in nearby Angola and Mozambique were my turf. My superiors routinely dispatched me at 4 in the morning to report on massacres. I worried about sexual assault, every woman [war correspondent] does, just as I feared being shot dead like some of my male colleagues had been. But if my bosses feared I would be raped, they didn’t say.
In “Ethnic Differences Emerge in Plastic Surgery,” a New York Times story published last weekend, writer Sam Dolnick explains how different ethnic groups now tend be in pursuit of one particular type of procedure.
Dolnick writes: “As the demand for surgical enhancement explodes around the world, New York has developed a host of niche markets that allow the city’s many immigrants to get tucks and tweaks that are carefully tailored to their cultural preferences and ideals of beauty. Just as they can find Lebanese grape leaves or bowls of Vietnamese pho that taste of home, immigrants can locate surgeons able to recreate the cleavage of Thalía, the Mexican singer, or the bright eyes of Lee Hyori, the Korean pop star.”
He goes onto to explain that Dominicans want buttock lifts, Koreans want slimmer jaw lines, Iranians want smaller noses, Italians want slender knees, Russians want bigger breasts, and Chinese want double eyelids.
That there are Orthodox Jewish men who hold a get, or Jewish divorce decree, over their estranged wives’ heads out of spite and to extort money from the women’s families — making the women agunot — is a sad reality. The creators of a new documentary film, “Women Unchained,” hope to shed new light on this seemingly intractable issue, and create communal pressure for change.
“Women Unchained” follows six Orthodox Jewish women in their quest to receive a get, or Jewish divorce, from their husbands. The film, directed by Beverly Siegel and co-produced by Leta Lenik, will have its world premiere in Jerusalem on March 7 at the Orthodox Union’s Israel Center and on March 8, International Women’s Day, at Jerusalem’s Cinematheque, as part of the Women and Religion Mavoi Satum Film Festival. “Women Unchained” will have its first U.S. showings at the Pittsburgh Jewish Film Festival on March 27 and at the Rockland County Jewish Film Festival on March 31. The filmmakers and experts on the issue will take part in panel discussions following the screenings.