Forward Thinking

Camp Tawonga and the Truth

By Renee Ghert-Zand

  • Print
  • Share Share
Annais Rittenberg

Camp Tawonga’s leadership faced a difficult decision last week when 21-year-old art counselor Annaïs Rittenberg, was killed by a falling tree. They needed to decide what to tell the campers.

The camp decided not to tell the children that Rittenberg had died — a decision that angers Rittenberg’s father.

“It’s a tragedy,” Mark Rittenberg wrote on Camp Tawonga’s Facebook page. “Everyone needs to know and everyone needs to embrace it.”

Upset at the praise shown for how the camp administration handled the situation, Rittenberg pointed out the anguish it caused her family.

“The love and prayers should go to Annaïs Maya Rittenberg. She is the one who died. Where are her pictures on your Facebook page?” he asked. “Where is the Shabbat service to honor her? This would mean that everyone at camp including the campers would know that their beloved art teacher was killed. “

Rittenberg died on July 3 when a 70-foot-tall black oak tree toppled on her outside the dining hall at the Jewish camp near Yosemite National Park in northern California.

Although it was widely reported within hours that Rittenberg had died, the campers at the sprawling camp did not know the extent of the tragedy. And officials decided to keep them in the dark, in part because the camp session ended at the end of the week.

On the evening of July 4, a day and a half after the tragic accident, executive director Ken Kramarz sent an email to parents explaining the decision to tell the campers only that a tree had fallen and that some staff members had been injured.

“We concluded that you, their parents, have the right to determine what to share about the incident based on your own assessment of how your child is doing and in accordance with your personal beliefs about death,” he wrote. “We feel strongly that you — the parents — should be able to decide when and in what way to discuss this with your children.”

The email also included some suggestions from the camp’s therapeutic team on how parents could speak with their children when they arrived home at the end of the session on July 5.

Some people, from within the Tawonga community and from outside it, agree that glossing over the truth was the correct way to handle the issue.

Steven Pressman of San Francisco, whose son is currently a Tawonga counselor after having been a camper for many years, believes the camp handled the situation in “a highly responsible and sensible fashion.”

Sharon Horovitz, who lives in San Jose, Calif. and has 12-year-old twin girls at the camp, concurs. With the camp session set to end in two days, she thinks the leaders wisely avoided the chance of a “communal hysteria” breaking out upon telling the 350 campers about Rittenberg’s death.

“The first encounter with death is a traumatic event at any age, and I think that I would be the best person to deliver such news to my children. I know best how to support them while and after they will hear the news, and I will be there for a long time to observe and look for signs if additional help might be needed,” Horovitz says.

“We were told that there will be a memorial service for Annaïs here in the Bay Area at a later date. As long as they are recognizing the need to come together as a community to give everyone a chance to grieve the loss together, I think it’s fine to let the children find out from their parents, at home where they are most comforted,” offers Caren Drezner-Gans of Mountain View, Calif., whose 12-year-old daughter was at camp.

For Mindee Levinger, the Jerusalem coordinator for OneFamily, an organization supporting Israeli victims of terror and their families, Mark Rittenberg’s point is well taken. While emphasizing that she is in no position to judge Camp Tawonga from afar, and that there is no a priori clear-cut path for dealing with tragedy, she does suggest that things would be handled differently in Israel.

From her experience in helping hundreds of people handle sudden loss, Levinger believes that children must be immediately told the truth—in a calm manner, and with a lot of love and care. “Children know how to deal with it in their own way,” she says.

If such a tragedy were to have occurred at an Israeli summer camp, Levinger says the children would have been brought together and told the sad news by the camp leadership and therapeutic staff. The rest of the day would have been devoted to age-appropriate group activities for the children to process the information and express their emotions. No child would be left alone.

“The message would be that a terrible thing happened, but that we are continuing the camp, that we are doing it in her memory,” Levinger says.

Levinger also disagrees that the best person to break the terrible news to a child is his or her parent. In Israel, the job is always left to a mental health professional. A parent, family member or trusted teacher or counselor is always on hand for support, but it’s the professional who does the talking.

Clearly, there is no absolute right or absolute wrong way to handle the situation faced by Camp Tawonga. However, Annaïs Rittenberg’s sudden and untimely death reminds us that such tragedies can come crashing down on us at any time, and that it’s worth giving some thought to how to deal with the crushing shock and grief.


Permalink | | Share | Email | Print | Filed under: tree, camp tawonga, annais rittenberg

The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.




Find us on Facebook!
  • Not a gazillionaire? Take the "poor door."
  • "We will do what we must to protect our people. We have that right. We are not less deserving of life and quiet than anyone else. No more apologies."
  • "Woody Allen should have quit while he was ahead." Ezra Glinter's review of "Magic in the Moonlight": http://jd.fo/f4Q1Q
  • Jon Stewart responds to his critics: “Look, obviously there are many strong opinions on this. But just merely mentioning Israel or questioning in any way the effectiveness or humanity of Israel’s policies is not the same thing as being pro-Hamas.”
  • "My bat mitzvah party took place in our living room. There were only a few Jewish kids there, and only one from my Sunday school class. She sat in the corner, wearing the right clothes, asking her mom when they could go." The latest in our Promised Lands series — what state should we visit next?
  • Former Israeli National Security Advisor Yaakov Amidror: “A cease-fire will mean that anytime Hamas wants to fight it can. Occupation of Gaza will bring longer-term quiet, but the price will be very high.” What do you think?
  • Should couples sign a pre-pregnancy contract, outlining how caring for the infant will be equally divided between the two parties involved? Just think of it as a ketubah for expectant parents:
  • Many #Israelis can't make it to bomb shelters in time. One of them is Amos Oz.
  • According to Israeli professor Mordechai Kedar, “the only thing that can deter terrorists, like those who kidnapped the children and killed them, is the knowledge that their sister or their mother will be raped."
  • Why does ultra-Orthodox group Agudath Israel of America receive its largest donation from the majority owners of Walmart? Find out here: http://jd.fo/q4XfI
  • Woody Allen on the situation in #Gaza: It's “a terrible, tragic thing. Innocent lives are lost left and right, and it’s a horrible situation that eventually has to right itself.”
  • "Mark your calendars: It was on Sunday, July 20, that the momentum turned against Israel." J.J. Goldberg's latest analysis on Israel's ground operation in Gaza:
  • What do you think?
  • "To everyone who is reading this article and saying, “Yes, but… Hamas,” I would ask you to just stop with the “buts.” Take a single moment and allow yourself to feel this tremendous loss. Lay down your arms and grieve for the children of Gaza."
  • Professor Dan Markel, 41 years old, was found shot and killed in his Tallahassee home on Friday. Jay Michaelson can't explain the death, just grieve for it.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.